The Bacardi Breezer Song
by GirlWednesday
Summary: If you like Bacardi Breezers, getting tanned in the shade, if you're not into zumba, if you enjoy Russell Kane, if you like dancing through till midnight to the tunes of a tape. Then you're the lady I've looked for instant message me and arrange a date.


**A/N: I got inspiration for this whilst listening to the Pina Colada song by Rupert Holmes, So this is the modernised Casualty version. to fully benefit from the humour of this, I would recommend listening to the song.**

**I own nothing this is written purely for entertainment and non profit.**

It was Friday night in the Collier household and of all the things Dixie had hoped to be doing, watching the football with her husband was not one of them. The fact that he had fallen asleep with a stale doner kebab on his lap had only made things worse.

Reaching over she placed the television on mute and turned on the light. Maybe browsing on eBay would cheer her up?

She chuckled to herself, should browsing turn to buying she had Jeff's credit card details. No jury would ever convict her considering he told her them himself, albeit he was drunk however he still told her and anyway she was his wife.

After an hour of searching, she had found that she didn't have the heart to con Jeff out of his hard earned cash and the designer handbag that had caught her eye remained where it was.

She looked over at the dog and frowned.

"He may be a pain but fraud seems a little extreme."

A pop up from another website diverted her attention back to the screen. Usually she didn't give internet advertising a second glance however that night she couldn't divert her eyes.

**Holby Hearts.**

**Could your Mr or Mrs Right be right here in Holby city?**

**A survey taken last year revealed one in twenty newlyweds in the Holby area met their spouse on this very website.**

**8/10 users of this site have said to have found their perfect match.**

**Who could argue with those statistics? **

**Don't just take our word for it sign up now for free.**

Dixie read the advert twice over and considered it for a while. She looked over at Jeff for a moment, wondering whether he would approve.

Little Abs walked over to where she was sat and started to wag his tail. She gave him a pat on the head and turned her eyes back to the screen.

"Oh sod it, why shouldn't I give it a go?"

Clicking on the register button she typed in her details.

**USER NAME: BLONDE D.**

**WOMAN SEEKING WOMAN.**

**AGE RANGE: LATE THIRTIES- EARLY FORTIES.**

After about an hour of typing in all her details she was ready to go.

Placing the computer to the side, all that was left was to wait for any interest to flood in.

"Who'd have thought it ay? Me on a dating website." She sighed to herself, picking up a cushion and hugging it to close to her chest. "Mind you, I suppose it's better than asking a dog for its opinion."

The computer pinged causing Jeff to stir slightly, Dixie held her breath desperately hoping he wouldn't awake, she knew she would be in for some serious mick taking if he found out what she was doing.

Much to her relief he soon settled back down and was once again snoring.

A wide smile slowly graced her lips upon seeing her fast reply.

**1 new interest.**

**USER NAME: CREME EGG.**

**#FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CLICK HERE.#**

"I'm warning you now Abs, don't try and guilt trip me. Jeff's a great guy but this is an open marriage."

Excitement arising she promptly clicked on the link.

**I suppose I should say something cheesy like a chose my user name because I appear hard on the outside but inside I'm soft, however the real reason is I'm not that creative and I was eating a crème egg whilst writing this.**

Dixie peered over the top of the laptop and spied the foil wrapper of the very same treat she had devoured just under an hour ago.

"So far so good."

**Anyway so what is it I look for in a woman?**

**If you like Bacardi Breezers, getting tanned in the shade, if you're not into zumba, if you enjoy Russell Kane, if you like dancing through till midnight to the tunes of a tape. Then you're the lady I've looked for instant message me and arrange a date.**

Dixie didn't think about Jeff, she knew that was probably a little selfish however her true self knew that life with a man wasn't for her so she typed out her response.

Dixie had never considered herself the type to have a way with words however she was pleased with what she wrote.

**Yes I like Bacardi Breezers, getting tanned in the shade, I'm not much into dieting I am into donuts.**

**I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon and talk face to face. At pub called O' Holby's where we'll plan our next date.**

_The next day._

Dixie waited with high hopes, then she walked into the room. She knew her scowl in an instant she knew the frown of her face.

It was her old rival Louise and she said "Oh it's you."

They stared at each other shocked for a moment and Dixie said "I never knew... that you liked Bacardi Breezers, getting tanned in the shade, the feel velvet loo roll and the taste of donuts."

They looked at each other for a few more moments before relaxing into a laugh, allowing their lips curl into wide smiles.

Dixie gestured to the chair opposite her.

"It must've been fate."

"Do you believe in fate Dixie?"

She nodded.

"Yes, I believe I do."

Louise pulled the seat out and sat down.

"Well isn't that a coincidence? So do I."


End file.
